It’s been a bit since I last posted something, but it seems like lately it’s hard to really focus on anything. I’m basically just trying to keep my head above water and get through a daily routine. This menopause stuff seems to be kicking my butt. And add a continuing pandemic on top of that and it just feels overwhelming.
I’m taking a serious break from social media because I felt like it was putting me in a really bad mindset. I’d find myself mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook and Instagram feeds, and instead of feeling uplifted and inspired like I normally would, I was feeling jealous and inadequate. People are going on more vacations than me; they are fitter than me; they have more friends; they seem to love their jobs more – yada, yada, yada. It would make me feel even worse about myself, that I was thinking these negative thoughts and playing the comparison game when in truth, there’s nothing wrong with my life. How sad. But I think that’s what social media can do and when you find yourself at that point, it’s time to walk away from it for a while, and that’s what I’ve done.
Physically I feel back to normal now that I’m almost six months post neck surgery. However, I also know that my body is aging and I need to be careful and so I’m keeping exercise moves low-impact and I’m increasing weights slowly instead of pushing myself. I’m also making sure I take at least 1 or 2 rest days a week. I’m currently in week 4 of the LIIFT4 program, with a couple of days of cycle classes on my stationary bike, and I’m really loving it!
The hot flashes and night sweats are manageable, although they aren’t fun. I think the mental stuff has been the hardest. I seem to get overwhelmed more easily. I’m ready to go to bed earlier at night. I wake up a lot during the night and often have a hard time getting back to sleep. I also have really strange dreams. often nightmares, that prevent me from getting a good night’s sleep. I think this is attributing to my brain fogginess and overall sense of feeling blue and anxious.
I’m working on practicing deep breathing and good nutrition. I don’t know if this will be enough, but I really won’t know until I do it for a period of time consistently, with consistency being the operative word.
Finally, I haven’t really talked about this on my blog, but my husband has been on our local city council for the past four years and while he really enjoyed it for most of that time, the past year has been very challenging for him. Politics are ugly in general, but when your loved one is directly involved, it is very stressful. He ran for re-election and lost and honestly, I’m relieved. (I think he is, too!) When you are in a public office position, there are always unhappy people, but in the current political and societal climate, the unhappy people do and say some really hateful things and when they are outright lies, it’s hard to sit back and watch. David is a good, honest man and you won’t find anyone more dedicated and committed than him, but the voters of our town spoke and decided that someone else should do the job. Best of luck! It’s not an easy gig, that’s for sure! Bottom line, though, is David and I love our town and community and we want what’s best for it! And I think it was good for us to get a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to run a city. David learned so much and I learned a lot hearing him talking about it and watching him experience it firsthand. I’m really proud of the job he did, but I’m also glad that he’ll have less stress now.
It’s a weird phase of life that I’m in right now, and I just have to find my mojo again. Taking the time to renew and restore myself mentally will help, I think. I need to focus on the people and things that bring me joy and let go of the people and things that don’t. I just don’t have the patience for nonsense anymore. Life is just too damn short.
Hopefully my next post will find me in a more positive place. In the meantime, I wish you all peace and tranquility, and I’d ask that you send the same wishes my way.
May your glass always be full,