cancer · mixed germ cell tumor · ovarian cancer · running · Uncategorized

Roller coaster

I was in a serious funk at the beginning of the week.  The closer we get to Kayla’s follow-up appointment next week, the more anxious I seem to get.  Staying strong and positive seems to be more difficult lately.  I’m not sleeping well and I feel really tired and a bit grumpy.

After taking really good care of myself last week through healthy eating and exercise, I have found myself on a downward slide this week.  My stomach is a bundle of nerves and I’m tired.  I haven’t worked out since Saturday and I find myself reaching for fattening comfort foods.  I struggle this time of year, anyway, with the change of weather.  I’m definitely not a winter person.  So couple winter blues with stressing over Kayla’s illness and I’ve hit myself with a big ‘ole double whammy.

This morning, however, I woke up feeling like my old self.  I got a good night’s sleep and I’m looking forward to running on the treadmill later today.  I made myself a smoothie for breakfast loaded with spinach and fruit.  Perhaps my improved mood is due to the fact that tomorrow is a holiday and it will be a nice long weekend.  Or it could be that I’m really excited about spending the day tomorrow with family and friends.

Regardless, I realize that my emotions over the next week will be a roller coaster.  We have no idea if Kayla is cancer free right now, or if she will have to have more treatment.  Not knowing is really difficult, so of course our whole family is going to be really distressed at this point.

I know that people are still praying for us and it gives me immense comfort and hope.  I know that regardless of what happens, our family will get through it.  I know that I just have to ride out all of these emotions I’m experiencing right now.

Courage for Kayla!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

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