Well, that sucked.

Kayla was discharged from the hospital on Friday after having her first week of inpatient chemotherapy.  She was pretty wiped out and slept all afternoon.  She ate a bit of dinner and then went back to sleep.

On Saturday, she spent the day feeling miserable because she hadn’t pooped in about 5 days.  She was feeling nauseous and wouldn’t drink anything.  Her appetite was low.  I knew what would help her poop:  drink LOTS of fluids.  She wasn’t drinking anything.  When I coaxed her to drink, she’d take a tiny sip.  She’d say she wanted to eat, but then when the food was in front of her, she’d start to feel nauseous.  She didn’t want ginger candy, peppermint tea, ginger ale, 7-UP, Gatorade, or anything else that might relieve her nausea.

I was FRUSTRATED.  And SAD.  And frankly, I was feeling hopeless and a bit depressed.  I was also worried to death because I didn’t want her back in the hospital with a tube down her nose because her bowels were obstructed again.  What is it with this kid’s bowels?  They always seem to cause her so much grief.  As Kayla would say, “My bowels hate me.”  Meh.

On Sunday morning, things seemed better.  Kayla requested pancakes for breakfast, and although she only ate one, she also had some strawberries and some watermelon.  Again, she wasn’t drinking much, but her spirits seemed better and so my spirits improved as well.  Kayla decided she wanted to take a shower, so I dinked around in the kitchen while she was in the bathroom showering (our bathroom is right next to the kitchen).  Suddenly, Kayla called out for me and I went in the bathroom, which was hot and steamy as hell and Kayla said she felt dizzy.  Well, no wonder, it was like a sauna in there.  We let some cool air in there and she seemed to feel better.  She got dressed, brushed her hair, and started to walk out to the other room when she started to complain again that she felt dizzy.  Thank goodness I had her sit down because no sooner did she sit down when she fell forward because she fainted.  Luckily, I caught her before she bumped her head or anything.  I yelled for my husband and we got her sitting down on the floor.  She was still in and out of it and she was scaring the hell out of us, so I called 911.  While the paramedics were taking a look at Kayla, David called the nursing unit where Kayla has her inpatient chemo, because at this point, most of the nurses know Kayla, so we felt like that would be the best place to call.  The nurse instructed us to bring Kayla in.  In the ER, they gave her IV fluids and did some blood work.  Thank goodness it was nothing too serious.  Kayla just got herself a little bit too dehydrated.  The medical team decided to admit her overnight, just so they could keep her hydrated with IV fluids, give her some IV nausea medication, and observe her.  Ugh.  Another night in the hospital.  Yay.

This morning, Kayla woke up feeling much, much better.  She was given a different anti-nausea medication and it helps a lot.  She was scheduled for outpatient chemotherapy today, so they went ahead and gave it to her inpatient since she was already hooked up to an IV and resting comfortably in a bed.  After chemo was finished, she was allowed to come home.

Although the weekend completely SUCKED, Kayla is feeling much better today.  It’s like night and day.  She is drinking fluids, and her appetite is really good today.   Her nausea is under control.  I know it’s too much to ask for, but I’d love it if we could say that we finally have her nausea under control and that she’ll be feeling better, at least until her next round of inpatient chemo in a couple of weeks.  I’ll enjoy this while it lasts.  I’ll feel good because she’s feeling good.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it, when you’re a mom?  When your child is sick, sad, depressed, or feeling hopeless, you feel that way, too.  Your ability to try and stay strong and positive weakens because all of your tricks and maneuvers you’ve used in the past to help your child feel better no longer work.  Now what?

As several members of the medical team told us today, it’s just the beginning of treatment and we’re going to run into bumps.  We’ll figure out stuff.  We’ll have good days and bad days.  I just have to try and not get so down when Kayla is having a bad day.  It’s hard, though.  It kills me inside when she is sick.  Nothing else matters, except to make her feel better.

She WILL get better.  And hopefully, it will be a great week and even better weekend.


7 thoughts on “Well, that sucked.

  1. Have her eat fruits and Vegetables and fluids for her bowels. Right now I just got my hip replaced and dr has me doing miralax daily it doesn’t smell or make the liquids hard and best of all it goes in anything smoothie sprinkled on food or in liquid maybe check with her dr regarding that?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When my MIL was in Kayla’s shoes last summer, getting her to eat and drink was the bane of our existence. It was SO DAMN FRUSTRATING. YOU know she needs to drink. SHE knows she needs to drink. But she would wrinkle her nose and turn away everything we offered her with an “I don’t want it” or “I can’t”. I get your frustration and helpless feeling. We tried so hard not to get frustrated because obviously we’ve never been in her shoes, but it was so hard because she, too, ended up back in the ER due to dehydration countless times during her treatment. She knew it was either drink or end up in the ER and still couldn’t make herself drink. Cancer makes me furious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s EXACTLY what’s happening with Kayla. She’s trying, and I get it. It’s hard to eat or drink when you don’t feel well, but as one of her awesome nurses told her yesterday, sometimes you just gotta use a little “suck it up”. Hopefully not wanting to go back to the hospital will be motivation enough for her to suck it up and keep herself hydrated!


  3. Wow. I’ve been slacking on my blog reading. This must be such a difficult experience for you all. I’m praying for you and Kayla and the entire family as they pour out their support. She will get through this!

    Liked by 1 person

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