This past weekend I ran the Bix 7, which is a 7-mile race that has been a huge focus and goal with my running over the past year and a half. It was a race that I really, really wanted to be able to accomplish.
I guess you could say that it has been my Holy Grail of some sorts.
Technically, the training that I’ve been doing over the last several months has been for a half-marathon, which is coming up at the end of August. But honestly, the Bix was what I was really working towards and looking forward to doing. And I achieved my goal! I did the Bix, I did as well as I had hoped and now…….
Now, I just can’t seem to get excited about the half-marathon coming up next month. In fact, yesterday I started looking at races later in the fall instead of the one in late August. I don’t know why. If my training keeps going as well as it has, I should be ready by late August with no problem. So why am I thinking about putting the half-marathon off? I feel like I’m trying to talk myself out of it. The doubts and fears are starting to creep in again. I can’t run 13.1 miles. That’s insane. It’s too hard. I can’t do it.
It could also be that right now, my heart just doesn’t seem to be into anything. You see, one of our dogs has been ill over the last week or so. After a couple of vet visits, tests, x-rays, bloodwork, our Jack Russell has been diagnosed with lumbar back pain, which is treated with rest and pain meds and could take weeks to heal. Seeing our normally energetic, playful, vocal, bossy Lillie become a lethargic, sad, motionless zombie has been heartbreaking and emotionally draining for me. I’m terribly worried for her, and I don’t like leaving her alone, and so part of the problem may be feeling guilty leaving her while I go on my runs. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been considering putting off the half-marathon until later when Lillie is hopefully recovered and feeling better. Or perhaps I’m using this as an excuse? Sigh.
In the meantime, my plan is to just keep running and follow my half-marathon training program as planned and hope for the best.