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8 Fears

I wasn’t able to post over the weekend, as I was really busy again.  My daughter, who recently graduated from high school, performed in her final dance recital.  She did a great job, but it was so sad to know that it would be her last recital.  She has to dance at Nationals in Florida later this month, so she’s not quite done yet, but I think for this mama, it’s finally sinking in that she is growing up and attending college soon.  😦

Today I continue the 10-day You Challenge by listing 8 fears.  I must admit, I haven’t been looking forward to this one.  Who wants to dwell on what they’re scared of?  But I guess that’s why they call this a challenge, so here goes!

1.  Losing my family members is the biggest fear I have.  I love my husband and kids more than anything in this world, so I’m always worried that something bad will happen to them.

2.  I’m scared of heights.  Jumping out of an airplane or bungee jumping are definitely NOT on my bucket list.

3.  I’m scared of the dark.  I think I’ve watched way too many horror movies and read too many Stephen King novels!

4.  I have a fear of failing or making mistakes.  I’m way too hard on myself.  This fear has often prevented me from putting myself out there and trying new things.  Too many times I stayed in my own little box of comfort and I often wonder how different my life would be if I had just been a bit more adventurous instead of being scared.

5.  I fear confrontation.  Of all of my fears, I think that this one frustrates me the most about myself.  I’ve always been shy and introverted and it’s hard for me to share my feelings and speak up because I don’t like to argue and I don’t want to offend people.  Although I have great peacekeeping  and diplomatic skills, I wish that I could muster up the courage to speak my mind more often instead of worrying what others are going to think.  I’m working on this.

6.  I’m scared of losing my husband to a heart attack.  His dad has a terrible cardiac history and his mother died from cancer.  My father-in-law has had several heart attacks and underwent a quadruple bypass.  I worry that my husband will suffer the same fate if he doesn’t start taking better care of himself.  He is trying, but I wish that he would take better care of himself.  He works really hard and taking care of me and the girls, along with helping others who ask him, always takes first priority.  I wish that he would make his health a bigger priority because I want us to be able to grow old together and still be active and healthy.

7.  I’m scared that the years of mistreatment of our environment, our planet, and the animals will eventually reach the point of no return and that there will be no way to repair the damage we have done.  The planet itself will survive, but how many species of animals will go extinct?  How long can the human race survive?  I am a believer in Karma.  There’s no way people can continue to slaughter and abuse millions of animals, destroy tons of acres of land, pollute the air, and act out of greed without repercussions.  I fear that the repercussions are coming sooner than we think.

8.  Finally, I’m scared to die.  I think everyone is, right?  I wish I could be one of those people who has complete and total faith that when they die, there is a heaven and there is life ever after.  I want to believe that.  I try to believe that.  But there’s that fear, always that fear in the back of my mind.  What if this is it?  What if when I die, there is….nothing.  Forever.  If that doesn’t scare the hell of out of you, I don’t know what will.

Wow, that was challenging.  Facing your fears is always the first step in gaining more courage, right?  No more cowardly lion for this chick!  I need to put on my superhero cape and seize the day!

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4 thoughts on “8 Fears

  1. I believe in an afterlife, but even if it weren’t true, you won’t be aware of that when you go; you’ll just be gone. Again, I don’t believe that; I’m counting on being united with God and the rest of my family.

    As to your husband’s health, have you told him this is how you feel? If he’s not aware of your fear, he might not take it seriously enough himself. When it comes to my husband’s health, I’m a nag. I’m almost too hard on him, but we work together on being healthy. He probably wishes I were more physically active, but knows that pushing me won’t really work. On the other hand, my knowing he is concerned really is a motivator. He works out at his gym at work 5 days a week. I’m active around the house, but because I eat well and have a high metabolism, I stay pretty fit. I’d say, you need to sit down and have it out with your husband. Tell him your fears. That just might be what he needs to be more determined.

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    1. Kat, my husband and I have had this conversation. He knows that I worry about him. Like I said, he is trying to eat healthier, and he is much more open about the healthy meals I cook, including vegetarian and vegan dishes. Nagging does not help; it just makes things worse and we used to argue a lot, but I realized that he is the one that will need to commit to a healthy lifestyle. I can’t do it for him.

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  2. I think you’re doing the right thing by teaching by example. When you nag, that person is a lot more likely to NOT change. It’s his health–you can make your choice about how accepting you are of what he does to his body–that’s about it.

    And confrontation? I used to be the same way until I got sick, and then I had to get loud to keep other people from making my healthcare decisions for me. I will be doing some confrontation the next time I see one of the neighbors in my building–she lives two floors above me and there was hammering going on for two hours non-stop until almost midnight on Saturday –if I had confronted her then I would have been screaming. But wait until I see her in the lobby!
    Heights are NOT my scene! I was reading a story last week about people who were on the observation deck of the Sears Tower and how the glass underneath them began to crack–I’d have died right on the spot from fear.

    Also, living alone, good luck trying to get me to watch a scary movie. My very active imagination is a blessing, but when I’ve seen a scary movie it’s a curse. I had to hit fast-forward the last time I watched “Signs.” 🙂

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    1. OMG, Patricia, I hadn’t heard about the Sears Tower observation deck – there’s definitely no way you’ll get me on that thing now! And I thought Signs was a really scary movie, too!

      The next time I have to confront someone, can I just call you and have you do it for me? lol 🙂

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